Webloyalty

Do you have webloyalty? Do you know what it is? Well, I'll tell you.

It is something awesome that generates new revenues for its clients. But how? By rewarding its customers who make purchases! And it totally prides itself on the impressive returns it gains for its totally awesome clients. Not to mention the absolutely unmatched service that they offer their awesome customers.

Pretty cool stuff if you are into making money. And they've been around for a while. They were founded in 1999. And since then, they have become a leader in online marketing services companies. They provide customized programs to e-commerce, travel, and other fee-based businesses.

They do this in a number of ways. They have a range of innovative products that really do help their clients increase their revenues. Not to mention the valuable benefits packages on top of this.

They have over 2 million subscriber today and they all enjoy savings. This is probably because of their new model of customer-friendly subscription services. They have over 300 employees in their Norwalk, CT headquarters, and San Francisco offices. It's like the movie, they literally have that many people in their army. Good stuff. And their revenues have reached $143.9 million (in 2006). And by the way, that was 33 percent up from 2005! They have had 16 consecutive...that's CONSECUTIVE quarters of operating profitability. Combine that with a 37 percent compound annual growth rate over the past 3 years, and you've got a recipe for awesome, mister!

Did I mention that they acquired General Atlantic LLC recently as well? What are they? A leading global private equity firm that provides capital for growth companies driven by information technology OR intellectual property. Since 1980 they have $10 billion, roughly, in capital under management, man! The firm has invested in over 150 companies, has current holdings in approximately 50 companies, including almost half based outside the United States, and is completely brilliant. Man, joe, if that ain't a cool story about webloyalty, I don't know what is. Keep it comin', man. Keep it comin'.

Bulls dance

For the third season in a row, a professional male athlete has been named the champion of ABC’s Dancing With the Stars.

Brazilian race-car driver and two-time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves beat out Spice Girl Melanie Brown and Marie Osmond (who was eliminated 15 minutes into the show) for the prized mirror ball trophy Tuesday. It was the second consecutive win for his partner, Julianne Hough, who won last season’s show with speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno.

We welcome everybody to the shitstorm that is celebrity gossip. That is such bullshit. I hate celebrity blogs with a passionate passion. Peace!

Welcome home, Bulls

After I just confirmed that Britney Spears isn’t pregnant, I find out Paris Hilton is still hell-bent on putting a bun in her oven. C’mon! It seems Paris has babies on the brain again after hosting a baby shower for Nicole Richie last weekend, according to People:

"Nicole and I have been playing together since we were two years old," she told PEOPLE at the Nissan Live Sets One Year Anniversary Party. "I was just telling her, 'I want a baby so that our babies can play together.'"

You ever see one of those vans that animal shelters drive around and spay and neuter your pet for you? How do I modify one of those to work on humans? I kind of need an answer ASAP. Time is a factor. Oh, and also, what are the odds of getting a wet bar on that puppy? No, not the van. An actual puppy. I’ve always thought it’d be cool to have a dog with more than just one of those little barrels around his neck. Picture a Labrador, but with a margarita mixer instead of a tail.

Tampa Lapband times

You considering Tampa lapband surgery? You may want to, if not. It would be a great idea.

There is a rapidly expanding network of specialized surgical facilities, and it's called Journey Lite. Journey Lite is a highly skilled and experienced bariatric surgeons, and team of healthcare professionals. What do they do? They are dedicated to providing the safest and least invasive surgical weight-loss solution...not to mention the absolute most comprehensive support programs that you can find today, in present day! It's what I'm talking about!

They are a great company, and they specialize in some stuff. What is it, you ask? Well, for starters, they specialize in Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding. Or, for short, LAGB...or, for short again, LAP-BAND® System procedure. But what is it? What do they do? Well, your surgeon simply inserts an inflatable, adjustable gastric band through small incisions in your body, and then simply positions the band around the upper part of your stomach!

But what does this do? Well, do you want to lose weight...? Because that's what this does. It creates a small pouch in your stomach, and that passageway into the lower part. It will make you feel full of food..when you have actually eaten less...so you will lose weight...almost naturally! And the procedure offers a number of pros over different options. It is the least invasive weight-loss surgery available. It is adjustable and, if the need should arise, completely reversible. Isn't that awesome? I know--I thought so too. But, listen to the best part: This radical LAP-BAND doesn’t require cutting, stapling or rerouting of the stomach or intestines! None at all! So there is a lower risk with the surgery AND long term complications. And this can be done in a day, folks.

The surgeons at Journey Lite are seriously some of the most experienced in the entire nation and their facilities are specially designed and equipped to meet the specific needs of the seriously, seriously overweight patient! You will be safe.

The staff there will provide for you as a patient. You will get the care you need, in the safest environment. Check them out today. They are second to none. So cool. It's brilliant.

Bulls walk that way

Yes, I’m back and recapping American Band after a week off. I’m sure the five people watching, well mainly the .5 people who actually read this column missed it, so I apologize to you. Light of Doom kicked things off (yes, they made through another week) with “Jail House Rock”. This was an epic FAIL in my book; the metal sound just doesn’t mix with old school rock & roll. Thankfully the Clarks Brothers were up next singing “Saved”, and it was darn good. The judges are right when they say they put a TON of passion in everything they sing, and extra credit to Ashley (I think it was him?) because that boy PLAYED that fiddle like it was nobodies business!

Last week I really liked what Dot Dot Dot did with their Billy Joel song, that was good stuff, I’d DL it. And I wasn’t as in love with their rendition of “Love Potion #9″ but they did a good job of updating it. Cliff Wagner didn’t sound bluegrass while singing “Poison Ivy”. And every time Mile High makes it through I groan, but as soon as they start to sing I just kinda sorta enjoy it. Yeah they’re a wedding band but a pretty good one. The lead singer is just so vanilla though.

Almost forgot about Sixwire! I forgot the name of the song they sang but I didn’t like how it sounded “countrified”. That whole performance just lacked spark anyways though.

Bulls stink it up in LA

The sixth debut album from an American Idol winner drops this coming Tuesday, but the self titled Jordin Sparks has already leaked on to the internet (11/13 tracks at least). I’ve given the whole thing a listen and I actually expected the album to be worse. Most of the tracks are generic pop and pop rock ballads that are straight out of 1999 with a few slightly pretentious R&B up tempos. Most of the songs are decent but some of the tracks are just straight up terrible, like “Shy Boy” and “See My Side”. I’ll leave a full review up to Tiffany, cause that’s what she does.

So will Jordin become a Carrie or Ruben? Or perhaps somewhere in between? The childish and still bitter side of me wants her to flop miserably. Anyhoo, in the meantime check out these three tracks from the album, which I think are the best:

Freeze
I’m quite fond of this song; this and “No Air” are probably my favorites.

Rare coins aren't hard to find?

Sometimes I feel like my next best investment move, would be to find a good rare coin dealer. That would be awesome.

You've heard of the Monex family of companies, right? Well Monaco Rare Coin is part of that. Who is Monex? They are a trusted leader of precious metal investments...and that's for nearly 40 years! They have...oh...just helped tens of thousands of investors like yourself invest in over $25 billion in hard asset investments. And this includes rare coins. You know, like gold, silver and platinum bullion, and bullion coins, man. (And other precious metals investments for ya.)

It's pretty intriguing if you ask me, and you are reading me, so I'm assuming you are asking me too. They offer a unique, vast, impressive array of resources--for investors AND collector. That's pretty key. They like both types of coin admirers. And you can find...make that, you will find, the finest rare coins available. There will be an experiences and knowledgeable cadre of professionals that are ready, and more than willing to serve you, and your needs. There is a broad range of investment programs too. And their products will fit most any budget. That's almost any budget. So, through them, you will awesomely have immediate access to investment-grade coins, and a wide range of them. And these are valued in excess of $10,000,000! (You can get others on short notice too.) What can you rely on? Their two-way buy-and-sell market for RARE coins and precious metals. Cool! They are involved in all the different markets too: the wholesale market, the collector market, the international market and auctions! They help you find the best at the best rate. If you are smart, like me, dealing with a rare coin expert makes sense. As a collector or investor, you should strive to have every advantage available to you in order to get rich. These coin experts can help you find opportunities you dont' know about, and help avoid possible market pitfalls! It's a unique blend of expertise, experience and financial muscle, that few rare coin companies can replicate. They have a connection to a worldwide network of resources that keeps them in constant touch with rare coin market trends and developments! Gnarly in a good way! But, did I mention that their advisors are members of the Professional Numismatic Guild? No? Dern. I should have. What's it called? Oh, just the American Numismatic Association. What are they? Oh, just a Professional Coin Grading Service. What are two other associations they have? Oh, just Numismatic Guarantee Corporation of America and The National Silver Dollar Round Table..and numerous other numismatic trade organizations. That's 2+? My bad. It's not easy for just anyone to build a world class rare coin portfolio, in a cost-efficient way, but they can. It takes a dealer with this: vast resources, broad-based experience and an unending commitment to providing the utmost in service to the customer, to make it happen. It takes awesome experts like Monaco Rare Coin. Monaco stands behind its recommendations, market information, quality selection and service. If you don't believe them, ask them again, dog. And ask them for a free trial subscription to “The Rare Coin Insider” while you're at it. You betta believe it!

F Celebrity Gossip

Yep, that's me sampling the bubbly. Haircare giant Tresemme and "New York" magazine hosted a marvelous "Project Runway" viewing party at NYC"s Maritime Hotel on Wednesday night. The party also served to introduce "Runway" fans to FantasyRunway.com which is Tresemme's online league that you can join and play along with the show. It's my new obsession. There was an unfortunate drought of names at this situation. Because you know it's sad when J. Harvey from "A Socialite's Life" pulls up and the love with the clipboard says "oh, we've been expecting you". Oh good lord, if I'm the biggest name you have, you need to fire the PR staff! Just playin', it was a lovely time and who doesn't like an open bar he asked, swaying slightly? Booths were set up with Macs so guests could join FantasyRunway and make their pics before the show started. Guests downed champagne and nibbled on whore derves (that was on purpose), while enjoying the ambiance of the stylish Hiro Ballroom. And then it was on with the show! And what a show! I'm already loving to hate and hating to love. Be sure to tune into my recaps of the adventures of Christian (asymetrical haircut gay snark elf), Sweet P (hippie earth mother), Eliza (downright crazy earth mother), Chris (adorable queen bear), and the others every week on Thursdays. The first one will be posted this weekend, and then on Thursdays. Sorry about the lateness this week, but your J. had to recover from all that champs. Irish blogger + open bar = drunkass Irish blogger. Plus, you know I had to hit the Phoenix before I left town. Who doesn't crush on gay hipsters and probably the hottest jukebox in the city?

How green lit?

Miley Cyrus better get a new wig, answer the door in a foreign accent and pretend that Britney Spears has the wrong house on Turkey Day! Miley Cyrus' Dad Billy Ray reportedly invited Britney to Thanksgiving Dinner at their house and Britney seems to have accepted! Pass the dark meat, Britney's hongray! That report appeared in In Touch Weekly.


Earlier this week, In Touch reported that Billy Ray Cyrus invited Britz to dinner with the Cyrus family, saying, "We love her. We would love to be there for you and we care about you." He also stated that Miley is "a big fan" of Brit's and "wants to reach out" to her.


Jesus, nothing spoils green bean casserole more than an intervention from a tween star. I remember the time I was over at Lizzie McGuire's house for Christmas ham and bitch wanted to talk about my drinking. Screw you, I said as I tucked into the au gratin potatoes! You don't know me! And you better shut it too, Even Steven! Britney was out at Petco yesterday, picking up something new to neglect, and reportedly confirmed that she accepted the invitation. "Y'all don't have instant mashies? What the hell?"

Whenver I look for a good card of credit, I go here...

If you are interested in such information as Balance Transfer Cards, read on. You'll be amazed at what I've found!

Have you heard about it? One of the Internet's absolute longest tenured sites for online credit card comparison is CreditCardSearchEngine.com. They are awesome. Do you know what they do? Why, they only allow consumers, business and students to do things like search, compare, and apply for all types of credit card offers. Oh, is that all, you say? And these searches include everything from low interest and reward card to cards for people with bad up to average credit. It's a pretty good service if you ask me--one that needs to be advertised and have it's word spread all over the internet!

And they feature offers from U.S. Credit Card issuers (leading ones) such as J.P. Morgan Chase, Bank of America, Citibank and leading brands Visa, MasterCard, American Express and Discover Card. Now if that isn't what I'm talking about, what is, folks? If you are looking to compare different credit cards on the internet, and find the best one that suits you, I don't know why you wouldn't go look at them today. I'm going to check them out right now, seriously. Everybody could use a good credit card, and they will help you find the right one!

Ben Gordon flicks off Kobe Bryant

Okay...so not really. But what if Ben Gordon decided that he had had it with the trade rumors, walked up to Kobe Bryant, and flicked him off? Wouldn't that be sweet? Well, I guess it wouldn't be, but it would be a lot cooler than the way this is going. This blog I mean. This blog is making me want to flick off my self right now. What the hell am I thinking by writing this? I could get sued. What if I did? That would suck! Kobe wouldn't want to go back to court though, so I'm probably good.

Welcome home, Sparky

The Chicago Bulls, this weekend, welcomed Arizona State University Sun Devil mascot, "Sparky," otherwise known as Matt Splunkterton, home to Chicago this weekend. The Chicago-born, Splunkterton, is the mascot this year at ASU, and has been considered a big part of the Sun Devils recent success this season. Granted, there is some new coach there too, but Matt is considered the real spark...or "Sparky". Hey-oh!

Luol Deng and Kobe Bryant were on hand to greet the Sun Devil star. It was a good time had by all. Everybody drank a lot, and ate a lot. The end.

You ready for Sarbanes 404? I am.

The coolest thing I know about is "sarbanes 404". Isn't it awesome? But what is it? I'll tell you...if you settle down.

Symark Software is by far the leading provider of UNIX and Linux security administration solutions. And they have announced something new. You know what it is? Its PowerBroker and PowerPassword-User Management Edition (UME) access control solutions that will fully support the new HP Integrity servers that are running the HP-UX 11i v3 operating system. What does all that mean? Well...besides "awesome", I'm going to tell you:

There were some security gaps in over 30 version of UNIX and Linux systems, but they have been addressed. By doing this, they have helped organizations safeguard proprietary information and comply with federal AND industry regulations!

Here's the breakdown of that though... Symark’s PowerBroker and PowerPassword-UME identity management and access control solutions combine best-of-breed functionality with ease-of-use to limit access to information and systems based on predefined policies and privileges. If that is technologically cool and radical, I don't know what is. And the best part is that PowerBroker protects the root account from both external and internal enemies. The root account is the most targeted, usually, so, this is good. But, also, the UME allows IT managers to deploy, centrally, modifdy and delete individual UNIT and Linux user accounts. That sure makes it easy. Right, Sarge? Just listen to Michelle Weiss, vice president of marketing, Business Critical Systems, HP, when she says, “Security is a top priority for enterprise customers." Listen to her...because she manes it, folks.

Want to know a little bit more about Symark? Well, they were founded in 1985. They are the leading provider of security administration solutions for heterogeneous IT environments. And, also, Symark PowerBroker® enables granular delegation of administrative privileges while restricting UNIX/Linux root account access. Pretty cool stuff, right? Wonderful!

Yo, ma!

This is by far the best thing SNL has done since “Chronic-what-les of Narnia.” Or should I say…the best thing Andy Samburg/Lonely Island has done since “Chronic-what-les of Narnia.” There isn’t really anything you can even say about this. You can’t make fun of it. It’s too awesome.

Wasn’t that the ish? I challenge anyone to say that video sucked. If you think that video sucked then you must be the lamest person in the world. I’m that cereal about this folks. And you know this video is going to hit the clubs. Shooottt…this song may actually get me to go back to the clubs and ish. I don’t even have anything to say really. Hopefully you just watched that dick-in-the-box ish. Merry Christmas ya’ll…especially you girl, you know what’s up…just my dick in a box.

UPDATE: NBC is dumb and removed all of the copies of this video from YouTube.

Where did you come from?

Go white boy! Go white boy! Go white boy! If you don’t find yourself chanting that after this video, then welcome to the self-conscious human race. I don’t know what I can say about this without sounding bitter, racist, or misanthropic. One thing is for sure, though. This guy must have all the dames in his part of town awestruck and begging for more of his country dancing (or how he puts it, neo-river dancing with southern flavor). Oh, and by dames, I mean grandmothers. And they’re not GILFs either.

Man, this guy is a complete show off and camera whore. At least he’s not arrogant about his sweet moves though. You have to admire him for that much. I bet he could teach me a thing or two about how not to get laid. At the end of the day, effort is all that matters. I think we saw a prime (albeit pathetic) example of that here today.

Executive Placement 2007!

I enjoy being informed about executive placement. Do you? Cool!

And since 1967, A.E. Feldman Associates, Inc. has maintained a high standard of service and commitment in the field of recruiting. So check them out. They have a reputation and a discretion and a consistent record of successful placements that have helped them build strong and trusted relationships. And these relationships are with clients who are industry-leading...but also top-quality. So it really benefits both the employer and the employee. Their recruiters all had fruitful careers in industries that they represent, so they bring in depth experience, knowledge, skill and insight to their job of recruiting. Not to mention that their contacts and feel for their designated field, helpes them to make the best match possible, and best fit for each and every, single job! Cool!

They represent some different areas: financial and risk management services, legal and legal support services, communications and technology, human resources consulting, and luxury products. But it goes deeper...because inside of those fields, they fill positions from middle, all the way up to executive, all the way up to top “C level” management…and they do this nationally. And it's from associates to partners...and even, from analysts to managing directors! So if that's not cool, and noteworthy, then it's not my fault. Read it and weep. But don't weep, just read it, and check it out. Do it. Done.

Damn it, Zander

If I was still in high school, this would have been funny. Since I’m not, it’s retarded. I give the kid points for having the balls to pull this stunt off though, but I bet the part about getting arrested and expelled for jumping over the railing and taking down a giant Christmas tree probably wasn’t too cool. Shouldn’t you do something a lot worse if you are going to face thoe repercussions? But hey, it’s the Zand-man! The Zanderooney. Everything he does is like, so funny ya’ll. He’s gotta live up to the name bro! It’s Zander! F yeah! Merry Christmas Zander. Good luck finding another school though. I guess it’s cool for all of us here in internet land to watch at least. Sucks for you though.

I guess the Christmas spirit in me hates this video, while the part of me that likes to watch “totally sick,” viral videos enjoys it to a certain extent. So basically I’m contradicting myself everytime I watch it. That being the case, it deserves a mediocre score at best. And did I mention this kid got arrested and expelled? Damn, that sucks for him. Oh well, it’s not our life, is it? So F it! Having a future feels so much better when you know that other people are fucking up their lives voluntarily! Awesome! Air guitar moment!

Happy New Year's!...late

Happy 2007 mofos. Here is a waste of time with dominoes.

This is really cool and all…but I would be really depressed about the upcoming year if this is how I spent the end of 2006. At least they got their 20 minutes of fame (15 minutes has been legally updated to 20 because of YouTube and Myspace–seriously, they did research), but what are they going to do now? Their mission in life is complete. Oh well. At least they have a cat.

I know I was a little bit late with my New Year's wishes, but I apologize. I know it's cool to wish people stuff, so I did it.

A good list broker is never hard to find...

You may need to check out a good mortgage lists. If you want updates on ground breaking mailing list databases, then you need to contact Martin Worldwide. They are in Westlake Village, CA. They are one of the leaders in the direct marketing industry. In my opinion, they are the one though. They have built a reputation by offering innovative mailing list products for their clients, man! And what is one of those products that has done well, you ask? How about,ResponseCom™? What is it? It's a potent, proprietary (big words) blend of U.S Consumer databases and U.S. Response. What does it result in? How about a multi-dimensional database? How's that for ya?

One that offers extreme versatility and over 100 demographic....and...psychographic selects! Really cool stuff. And this synthesis is really special. It is compiled and response data that has created an unparalleled, powerful database! And one that completely accurately identifies prospects with the most active, responsive, and impulsive buying history. Talk about useful! As a splendid result, their clients have experienced higher response rates, profitability, and new business opportunities! This is according to their manager! In actuality, they are literally one of the most successful and largest mailing list providers in the nation! They offer customized mailing lists, telemarketing lists, and fax lists. And they provide these to small business...all the way up to Fortune 1000 clients. But it doesn't come easy. They do this by utilizing over a decade of experience, knowledge, and database acquisition expertise! That's what I'm talking about, and have been for a while!

They possess a database of over 290 million consumers...14 million U.S. businesses. Oh yeah, and they are one of the only...one of the only major list providers that actually guarantee their data integrity in actual writing! So contact them today. It will be a good decision. One of the best in the history of men, and their kind.

Two weird dudes in a pool

I don’t really know if these guys are speaking German. I basically know that they aren’t speaking English, Spanish or one of the Asian languages. Other than that…I guess it’s German. But the point is: What a shitty party this is. This is pretty much the lamest thing I have ever seen. How did these guy’s come up with this idea?

Hey Hans? You know how we have no chicks right?

Yeah Hans, it sucks.

Yeah, Hans, you are right. Well what’s the next best thing to have chicks in a real jacuzzi??

In Unison (Both Hanses): Two guys in a bubble bath!!!! Hey-yo!!! Mein Jacuzzikompf!!!

Yeah, that’s probably exactly how it went down.

Let’s be honest here folks. If Frank woulda seen this type a thing back in the day at The Sands (Two dudes in a bathtub with no broads) heads woulda rolled all the way out into the desert sand, and back to Germany (rolling onto a boat, cartoon-style, to continue the trip of course…rolling heads don’t usually float).

I didn’t think that any YouTube video in a jacuzzi coulda been worse than the girl pooping in a jacuzzi until this.

Swimming!

For kids in junior high school, this video is hilarious. About as hilarious as the fact that my junior high school would have been PMS if it was called a middle school instead of a junior high. Isn’t that hilarious?

For the rest of the world, this is very amusing. It’s a funny idea and executed about as good as you can execute a video starring a guy who reminds me of Jack Black with his hair buzzed off.

See? Am I right, or am I right. Happy Thanksgiving ya’ll. Frank Sinatra in a Time Machine is gonna travel back in time, to the original Thanksgiving supper. I bet the Pilgrims and Indians are going to be really friendly, all sitting at one table, just like it’s portrayed in elementary school textbooks everywhere. The old chairman of the boards is about to be a wearin’ a black hat and buckled shoes. It will be my best show to date. Even better than The Main Event. Come fly with me

Wedding time for you?

Hey, man. Are you getting married or going to a wedding and looking for Wedding Gifts? Really? Cool? Did you invite me...? Oh... It's cool. Don't worry about it.

Well, anyway, go to WeddingChannel.com. They have been literally helping brides and grooms get their wedding exactly how they want them--and they've been doing this since 1997. They want your wedding to go just as planned. They are the world wide web's most comprehensive wedding-planning site. They are cool and combine free, interactive planning tools. But more than that... They also combine this with expert advice, inspiration photos, a local vendor guide, a patented online registry system, and much, much more to make planning a classic, upscale wedding as stress-free and worry-free as possible. They also make it easy. Seriously, folks--planning your wedding the way you want it is just a few simple clicks away. Just go there right now and check it out. Make sure you are getting married first though.

Borat + Pee Wee Herman = This

What is it about YouTube? They love to feature videos that are either a rip-off of Borat or something that reminds you of him. (And just for the record, I’m not jumping on the Borat bandwagon. I’ve been there since the beginning honky.)

Seriously though, this video is entertaining enough. But it kind of reminds me of partying in the seedy, Russian parts of Hollywood. Luckily, my name isn’t Alonzo, so I was cool when I did. Hey-yo! Seriously though folks, it’s quittin’ time…oh no…oh no, I’m about to start boozin’. One more rendition of “Come Fly With Me?” Alright, you twisted my arm.

How did all these people get in this video? Badabing!

Lisa Nova is hot

There isn’t a lot of time to give respect and props and things of that nature on this blog, but one YouTube star is making it easier. How did that sound? Was that first line kind of professional sounding?

Anyway, here is LisaNova and crew making fun of LonelyGirl15 and her crew of overrated creators and their “new art form.”

This video is funny. Me, RobotDeanMartin, OneOfTheKennedys and SammyDavisJrHologram were going to make a video just like this, but OrsonWellesBobblehead was being stubborn and wouldn’t hold the camera. He said something about “I should have stopped at Citizen Kane. They were right.” or something. It was weird, but anyway, we never made the video. Luckily, this ish is hilarious enough to watch on repeat.

Missing something? Is it money?

If you are missing some money and looking for a payday loan, you've come to the right blog: CheckCity.com.

What are they? Why, they are only a leader in online payday lending. And they are very excited about the new possibilities, now that loans are now available to residents of Montana as well! They are licensed individually by each state in which they do business too. This is to provide the absolute, positive best service and protection for their consumers. Fantastical idea! Consumers can now be confident that there will be a future for t hem, and that every single loan that is received is absolutely legal (not to mention conducted under the laws of the consumer's state). At CheckCity.com, they make customer satisfaction and service #1 on the list of important things. And they have one of the fastest growing online payday lenders in the entire country! Let's also talk specifics: They have a totally secure website, bro. They have a no hassle sign up process. They have competitive prices. They have it all! You can't go wrong with a loan from them. So check them out today.

Aaron Carter to host concert before Bulls game?

First of all, this video is way too long, but then again, there isn’t much I would cut out. Check this out if you have time, especially at work. It’s a mock of MTV’s Fanatic and Aaron Carter. It’s pretty funny. It’s one of those, alright-good-job-I-don’t-ever-have-to-see-this-again-but-good-job-type videos.

Hey-yo! My favorite part was when the girl calls him a “douchebag.” What a silly little girl, doesn’t she realize she just left an Aaron Carter concert? You don’t get room to call anybody a douchebag after that. But hey, that’s how I beat Shaq. Where can I get an Aaron Carter t-shirt like that? If you have comments, let the creator of this film, Justin Noble, know what you think about it. E-mail him at: justin.noble@yale.edu

On Youtube, is Hulk, not a Bull

So, in case you guys haven’t heard the great news, Hulk Hogan has joined YouTube. That’s right, fellow wrestling fans. He already even has his on video blog a la LonelyGirl15 style. The Hulk looks a little butchy in this video, and many have said that it looks like he may have lost weight and maybe, just maybe may have gone to a Bosley Hair restoration center. I maintain that he looks leaner and has a great headband on. Whatever. Anyway here’s the vid:

Ok, apparently that wasn’t Hulk Hogan. In fact, that wasn’t a man, at all… that was the Hulk’s 18 year old daughter, Brooke. Could’ve fooled me. What a beast. And I mean beast in it’s fullest defintion. What definition you ask? Well all five of them, of course:

Iron Condor is sweet!

It's 4:30 pm PST, and I can't get my mind off of iron condor. I know, very interesting, right? What is it though?

Well…it’s called PowerOptions. It includes a complete suite of educational materials and premium toll-free customer support. It has that. But, also, it provides you with the essential date that you NEED to invest in stock options, and know what you are doing. That’s pretty much what I’m talking about.

How do they do it though? They have a patented SmartSearchXL® technology. And let’s be honest: this technology is not available anywhere else–nowhere. If you want to find, compare, analyze and make money on stock option trading, then it is the best way. And they are the only date provider that gives investors this technology on the internet. It’s patented decision support technology. It shows you the highest return option trades to make. It’s convenience, control that is required to automatically sort, filter, and analyze all 2,900+ optionable stocks and 190,000+ options online! And they do this to find the investments that will actually meet your profit goals. Isn’t that sickness in a basket? I know, that was a pretty dumb expression that I just made up–but it seemed like the perfect description of this service.

They have all the online tools you will need for a competitive advantage when it comes to stock investments. And act now, folks, you’ll get a 14-day trial for free! Not to mention the easy online User Guide, toll-free support, and the classic PowerOptions Performance Guarantee!

Shaq should play for the Bulls

One of the most popular NBA power couples has filed for divorce. More accurately, Shaq filed for divorce from Shaunie on Tuesday. According to the Miami Herald,

''The marriage between the parties is irretrievably broken." [Shaq's petition for divorce] further claimed that Shaunie has been ''secretive about her assets . . . particularly with respect to certain properties owned or titled in either [her] name alone or in other entities.'' He wants the court to order Shaunie to give a ''correct accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities (including bearer securities)'' that she came into during the marriage.

You can read the rest of the article HERE. Shaq and Shaunie have four kids together and one each from a previous relationship. The last appearance they made together was at the ESPYs.

I'm as sad as I can be for a couple I've never met and don't really know. Although, Shaq is one of those people who inspires familiarity even without having personally met him. Shaq and Shaunie were definitely one of my favorite NBA couples. Best of luck to them both.

Ben Wallace should lose the headband

You know why? Not because they keep losing when he wears it. I have more of an issue with the fact that it doesn't look as good as without. Not to mention, the Bulls keep losing. Oh, I just said that. My bad. I forgot. But yeah, he should lose it--and then hopefully the Bulls should start winning again. Also, Joakim Noah should cut his hair or braid that shit.

A Mexico vacation would be good for the Bulls

Need a break? You should check into All Inclusive Mexico Vacations soon.

The white sand beaches of Rivera Maya. Sound nice? It does to me. Well, check out the Karisma Hotels. They are a collection of properties that is brilliant and our secluded on these white beaches. And the word "karisma" is Greek for "divine favor", so there you go, man. This awesome Resort collection offers Karisma's new Gourmet-Inclusive concept. And it's designed especially for foodies, or, people who like to eat food...a lot. There is an elite level of service, and I'm talking elite, in each resort. It's great for a very relaxing vacation. And then you put some luxurious accommodations that will invigorate entertainment and classy, right when you want it service, to the mix. It's awesome!

The Karisma concept of luxury all-inclusive has absolutely NO EQUAL! Listen to some things they have: beach beds with retractable curtains (for random moments of ocean-view intimacy...ewwww...), beachside bar swings, dedicated Beach Butlers and design-conscious details! And this is all a private haven of privilege, dog! What else though, you ask? OK. How about:

hot tubs, hammocks, swim-up rooms with ocean views, white gauze curtains floating over four poster beds, sunset margaritas that are served by Beach Butlers on a private stretch of sand, exquisitely presented food prepared by expert chefs…I mean, are you f***ing kidding me!!??? It's f***ing awesome!!!!! And it's all part of the Karisma concept.

Want to hear about their food? Listen to this then. They have a thing called Gourmet-Inclusive. It's a radically new concept in travel and cuisine. It's all about the sophisticated world travelers who have come to expect and appreciate find details behind a good dining experience event. It's all included! Yes, I'm telling the truth! It's not some ordinary inclusive fare either. It's service or locales are not ordinary. Their gourmet-level cuisine is served...in...sleek...and...sensual sit-down locales and fashion forward bars! Isn't that radical, dude? I'm ready to go party there now! There's no buffet table, but there is one for kids. And these places have bars that have cool touches like actual swings, hanging beds, iced tops to keep drinks frosty cold, tequila lounges with 30 artisanal tequilas too. What? You want me to drop more names? You aren't convinced yet? Okay. How about private-label wines from Argentina's Mendoza Valley vineyards. Awesome!

Now, let's talk about divisions. Karisma has five signature resorts. What are they? Here: El Dorado Royale Spa Resort (adults only), El Dorado Seaside Suites (adults only), Azul Beach (family-friendly) and Azul Blue (family-friendly – opening November 2006) and Hidden Beach Resort (naturalist). Bam!

Now, let's break them down, yo:

Azul Blue Hotel + Spa – Riviera Maya
What is it? Azul Blue in the Riviera Maya is the world’s first stress-free hotel, and guess what else? It opens in November 2006. Everything there has been created to cater to your personal sanity and relaxation. They have 98 luxury suites that overlook the Mexican Caribbean. And Azul Blue’s has the most complete spa on the Riviera Maya. It will totally pamper your body with an array of soothing treatments. These treatments can taken on-site, on the beach, or in the room. Also, select from invigorating or relaxing activities, if you want, like deep-sea fishing, cenote diving or even meditation classes! Hey-oh! After all this...there is actually more, folks. You can get candlelight dinner for two, with a multi-course meal, in one of three restaurants! Choose from one of the dishes they design. It will completely soothe that palate of yours, bro! Then, snuggle up with your in-room ipod...in front of a wide-screen plasma...and that's between fine Italian linens with pillows selected from a menu! A pillow menu! They've got it! There is absolutely no "stresspassing" here, folks. Their word, not mine.

Now, let's talk El Dorado Royale Resort – Riviera Maya. If you want romance, book a suite--A Casita suite-- here! Live in the natural bliss of “Aquas del Amor”, folks. This place is literally set on over a mile of unspoiled beach, AND in 450 acres of tropical rainforest! Sickness! And of course it's gourmet-inclusive again. The swim-up. The Ocean Front Casita Suites. They are there. And they include veranda hammocks, king-sized jacuzzis. It's awesome. Don't forget the swim-up bar. All of the 504 Junior Suites, man. They feature air conditioning. They are breez-enhancing. And this place features five-star dining in seven restaurants: El Cocotal, D’Italia, La Carreta, Kampai, Jo Jo’s Seaside Caribbean Grill, and La Isla; and the new open-kitchen format of Fuentes – debuting this summer with the theatrical backdrop of 5 open kitchens, bro!
You want more? Well, did I mention the beachside wedding chapel and full wedding and honeymoon coordination!? No, well I just did now. Romantics will love it there as well. They have divinely decadent pleasures like these milk baths and these aromatic massages. That's in their spa. Yup.

You know about the El Dorado Seaside Suites – Riviera Maya? No? You should. Like I said befor, they are on the secluded white sand beach of Kantenah, and in the middle of the Riviera Maya. Bam! It's relaxed. It's casual. But most of all, it's rich with design detail and sensual extras, dog! This is an adults-only resort, and of course, yet again, it has The Gourmet Inclusive. There are 196 Junior Suites there. Direct access to the beach granted. They are decorated in a mélange of Mexican and contemporary-style. You want specs? You got spec. Bam: real Mexican tile or marble floors and furniture crafted from local Yucatan wood is in the room!

You ready for Azul Beach Hotel – Riviera Maya? Sure, we all are. There is a beautiful stretch of el Bahia Pentempich beach in Puerto Moreles. And it's been re-opened after being completely redone! It's the first boutique all-inclusive resort. There are only 98 rooms, and again...the whole gourmet-inclusive dining philosophy. They are family-friendly, with great amenities. Parents are pampered with adult-sized indulgences as well as extras like strollers, cribs, baby milk heaters, beach games, coloring books, refrigerators for milk and medicines, and even kid-sized bathrobes.

And the dining is splendid. They have low-carb menus, lobster-only menus, South Beach diet options, and other specials you may like to eat. And they are available at Azul Beach’s eclectic Blue Restaurant. But there are other restaurants. There is Azul Beach’s Asian Tainan restaurant or the other one, La Mancha. The Agavero Tequila Lounge is a replica of a 19th century Tequila bar where over 30 different Tequilas, including Añejo, Reposado and Blanco, are served.

Okay, and are you ready for Hidden Beach Resort – Riviera Maya? You better be. Know what else? Hidden Beach Resort Au Natural Club caters to nudists. That's right, I said it: nudists. Bam. It's the only luxurious, all-inclusive nudist resort in the Mexican Caribbean! It's secluded, adults-only property with 42 suites that sit along the beach, dog. Swim-up suites and a swim up bar. And of course, all the suites offer air conditioning, ceiling fans, satellite TV, DVD and CD library, plush robes and 24-hour room service for private dining. This includes their La Vista a’ la Carte restaurant where food is available from 6am to 2am. That's right! They are only closed for 4 hours a day! The restaurants at the neighboring El Dorado Seaside Suites are also available for a night when guests want to dress up (but don't go naked to those). What else can you do? You can sunbathe beach or poolside. There are towels and a variety of activities such as yoga, ping-pong, massage and volleyball for your entertainment!

You'll love this place!

Kirk Hinrich needs to step up

I think Kirk needs to step up and play on the same level he has been. I don't know what's wrong with this Bulls team, but they don't seem to show up every night now. I think they need to make some changes. I don't want to say Kobe, but Kobe. I don't know else they could do, but I feel like the trade deadline is passed, and the damage is already done to this team who should have been good enough for the NBA Finals this season. Damn.

Welcome back

In case you were wondering what's going on with the Chicago Bulls: they suck. They are playing like shit. They are playing like bullshit. It's not cool. They are way better than this as a team, and it's time to show it. If they don't soon, I'm going to not get the season tickets I was going to buy in 2011 for the team. This is not cool. Get it done, Bulls. Get it done. The time is now. The team is the Bulls. That is you. That is all.

Buying a radiator? In the market?

If you are looking to buy a Honda Radiator, read on...

There is a leader online. It's the leader in online sources for radiators and cooling components. It's name? Radiator.com. What do they do? They offer the best quality radiators, and this is at the lowest prices possible--not to mention the included satisfaction guaranteed lifetime warranty! Hey-oh! This totally radical online outlet is backed by a network of completely locally-owned distribution hubs and warehouses. These places ensure that the part you need is not only in stock, but can be delivered ASAP.

As I said before, they are an online leader in this, so they assure you a totally flawless experience, and this is by offering the best quality radiators at the lowest possible price. And this doesn't matter if you are a commercial consumer, or just an average Joe. If you are looking for a radiator, you'll experience the great expertise and high service level at Radiator.com. They are a family-run, American business too. They have warehouses all over the country too, so you can possibly expect next day delivery.

Look, a lot of radiator companies will offer cheap radiators, but that's because they import cheaply made parts. Not Radiator.com, yo. What do they use? How about the highest quality OE style and aftermarket parts. That do anything for ya? Good. There'se no middleman. You deal with them: you get your radiator. High quality: low price. It's the way radiator sales should be, and it's the way they do them, man!

Bulls play like crap, drop to 1-5

What. in. the. hell. is. going. on. with. the. Chicago Bulls!? This is honestly, literally pissing me off. 1-5? 1-5? That's their record right now? Are you kidding me!? Who are these guys? This is not the team I rooted for last year. This is not the team that has the potential to win the east. This is not my Chicago Bulls team. What is going on with these guys? Hurry up! We need more wins, Bulls!

Bulls walk backwards

Trees in the summertime. Pigs making fart noises with the mud. Balloons pressing against glass windows like breasts. Weirdos.

That was a poem I wrote when I was in Nam. I don't know if you like it...and I don't care, because I'm an Amerriicann. You're not (if you don't like it). It's poetry, and I do it in my sleep. I dare you to try and write some. Yeah right; like that would happen.

Looking for a quality eduction...online?

You ready to earn a degree online? Sure, we all are. Well now, you can check out capella university. It's awesome!

Seriously, it is. I've heard of Capella University before, and it is legitimate. Now, I'm going to tell you more. From what I hear, Capella University is an accredited university (which is huge). And it's been around. It was founded in 1993. It's fully online and offers graduate online degree programs in the following: business, information technology, education, human services, public health, public safety, and psychology. It also offers bachelor’s degree programs in business, information technology, and public safety. Those are some pretty good areas if I do say so myself. But it goes deeper than that, folks.

They offer 104 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 15 certificiate programs within those areas I just mentioned. Sweet! (This is all as of October 23, 2007, of course.) And if you think the university is small time, then listen to this: They have nearly 20,000 students enrolled online right now! And this is from all 50 states and 56 countries! That's quite a reach. And they want the academic experience to be of the highest caliber. Even though you are studying online, they want you to grow, as if you were at a university in person.

Listen, folks. If you want an online education that will truly be valuable to your development as a person, Capella University is it. They are completely owned by the Capella Education Company. Their headquarters are in Minneapolis. For more information, check out the link above. You won't be disappointed. I don't work for them, but if I did, I would guarantee it too.

Luol Deng: Still Pimpin'

Get ready for the blockbuster motion picture, coming to a theater near you next week: "LUOL DENG: STILL PIMPIN'"

From the guy who wrote GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN', it's an action-packed story of how Luol Deng overcame the odds, totally played Duke, and joined the Bulls to become one of the biggest pimps in the league (if a silent pimp). Get ready folks. Grab your popcorn lightly salted and Diet Pepsi. It's gonna be pimperrific!

-The Editor

It's an 0-3 party!

You ready to party, Bulls fans? How about this 0-3 start? If there were ever a better time to throw an 0-3 party, I don't know of one. Seriously, folks...it's party time. You know why? Because Kobe managed to fuck up our team too...and he didn't even get traded here. Sweet! And look at those Lakers...running and gunning and looking great playing team ball. Who knew that anybody else on that team could actually play basketball? Thanks, Kobe!