Charles Brown is a pimp

I'm all about a charles brown dds pc. Really, does anything else matter? No, not at all. You know this. man.

There is a thing called Hayfield Dental Care. It serves the people of Alexandria (and surrounding areas). It's done this since 1987--true story. All of their dentists are totally healthy. They all have advanced specialty training and can perform almost any procedure without the need for referral to another office. They've got experience yo. Charles Brown DDS ain't no cartoon. He's been employed there for 10 years, dog! What's he done with that time? Only thousands of crown, root canal and surgical procedures. The Virginia Board of Dentistry loves this guy. He has zero complaints, ever!The Medical College of Virginia is where he graduated from and got a lot of awards. Yeah, it's a real place. What did he do in 1996? Oh...just ranekd first in his class. 1997? Quality Care Award and Resident of the Year award from UMMC! Yowza! He is one of the top of the best dentists in the Washington Area! Their doors are always open for new patients and emergencies!

Gnarly Adventure Chronicles

Let's be real, folks; this place is the best online. They have dem cheap. They have dem personalized. They have dem personalized. They have dem, yo. And not just for bridesmaids and groomsmen, but for both of those. Word. And a lot of items have free personlization! That's so awesome, I just pitched a tent! Because I'm going camping after my wedding! For the honeymoon! Radical!

"Ok, I'll try my best, I…" He interrupted me with, "I'm serious homie, the top ballerz from the west coast play here. See that guy in the green Celtics shorts? He used to be on the practice squad for the And 1 Streetball team before he got in a fight with Skip-To-My-Lou and got kicked off the bus.

Weird World

I get to be there all week, but do nothing! I get to "play" juror, but I'm not really "in" the jury. It's so sweet. I might as well be wearing Osh Kosh B'Gosh red corduroy overalls and playing with Ninja Turtles action figures while I'm in the jury box. When addressing me, they should call recess "nap time." I shouldn't be in the jury box. I should be sitting in a fucking sandbox right under the judge, building sand castles and bugging the court reporter. So ridiculous. When the jury went into deliberation today, I got to sit in the hallway, as if I had just gotten in trouble for snapping Sally Jenkenheimer's bra strap in 8th grade! (That never happened.) Awesome!But the best part? I have to go back Monday morning! SuperMarioBrothers! I have to frickin' (and I type "frickin" with the highest verbosity possible, or something) be there at 8:30 a.m. and just to sit on a cold stone bench in a hallway that reminds me of the movie The Shining (I don't know why, but it does) until these idiots come up with the obvious verdict that should have taken 5 minutes today.

Wedding Favors Are Dope

No, not drugs. Are you ready for wedding favors? I hope so.

You ever think to yourself: "Hmm...I'm getting married soon, and you know what? I have no frickin' wedding favors!? Holy crap!!!" Well...you may not freak out like that and you may not use the word "frickin'", but, you do need favors.

Now you can! You can shop for weddings. There is this Internet Wedding Superstore that you should definitely check out...up there...at the link...that says "wedding favors." Duh.

Let's be honest folks; this place is the best online. They have them cheap. They have them personalized. They have them personalized. They have dem, dog. And not just for bridesmaids and groomsmen, but for both of those. Word. And a lot of items have free personlization! That's so awesome, I just pitched a tent! Because I'm going camping after my wedding! For the honeymoon! Sweet!

Word Up, Bulldog

3. "24-Hour Basketball"
Lastly, I went to the third guy on the sideline, expecting the same reaction. (Somehow there were only 3 people on the sideline, but at least 11 people were already in line to play ahead of me. There must be another court somewhere that I don't know about, where they are warming up.) This guy was about 5'5", Caucasian with glasses and a brand new pair of Jordan's as well. Before I could even say anything he was like, "Yo, what's up dog? What's really good? How you livin'? You down for this street ball shit, and shit?" I think I understood what he meant so I said, "Yes." He said, "Good man, the name's Bulldog, you better be ready to ball player, you gotta earn your keep on these streets, this ain't no NCAA shit." I said, "Ok, I'll try my best, I…" He interrupted me with, "I'm serious homie, the top ballerz from the west coast play here. See that guy in the green Celtics shorts? He used to be on the practice squad for the And 1 Streetball team before he got in a fight with Skip-To-My-Lou and got kicked off the bus. That guy in the purple shorts and Kangol bucket hat? He played the star player of one of the opposing teams in He Got Game and got into the Screen Actors Guild because of it. The guy with the S-curl? He once was in a Bud Light commercial that aired during the NBA Finals…twice. And me? Shiiiiitt. I just been running these courts, hustlin' fo my cheddar for about 4 years now. That's why they callz me Bulldog son." I asked him, "Wait a minute. You seriously make your money playing basketball here?" He responded, "Yeah man, I'm in the game…and…well…uhh…plus, my dad is a big exec at one of the studios so he throws me some cash from time to time, but other than that man, I'm a straight hu$tla." Damn. It seemed I had a lot to learn from Bulldog.

Go Bulls!

Self-promotion is the new promoting yourself Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Self-promotion has been going on for years. Ever heard of Benjamin Franklin? He was one of the biggest self-promoters in the history of America. I don't know if that's true at all, and I don't have any evidence to back that up, but it seems like it makes sense. How else would that whole key-on-a-kite story get out? He was the only spectacle-wearing dude there. Think about it.
So, with that being said, I don't feel bad about promoting myself here by showing you all some links to places that my press release has shown up. It's pretty interesting. Well...I guess it's not really interesting at all, but I'm just trying to promote myself as much as possible before my book comes out. However, it is pretty random that I ended up on OnlyPunjab.com. I mean, Big Pun once said, "I don't discriminate; I regulate every shade of that ass." But how does that relate to my stupid viral videos? I don't get it either. Weird.
Yahoo! News
OnlyPunjab.com
PRWeb.com
news.bigg.net
FreeLanceWriting.com
FinanceVisor.com
These are just a few of the many random places it ended up. Supposedly, it was also actually printed in 4 actual new pulblications as well; which is pretty sweet, considering it's about as newsworthy as Space Ghost's Coast-to-Coast interview with Anna Nicole Smith, predicting the exact date that she would die, and then it happening. Actually, that's way more newsworthy than my press release, but it never happened. Anyway, I'm out. Peace.

That ain't no bullion

And that ain't no bullion.

Gas wasn't always so expensive. Remember that? It used to be, like, 25-cents a gallon! Man, that's like four gallons of gas for a buck, dog! That's in the glory days when money was actually back by something: silver...real silver. But you know what, dog? The same amount of silver still buys 4 gallons of gas! Crazy!? Well...yeah, but true. This shows that green paper doesn't keep it's value like gold and silver (the pimps of precious things) do. Actually...when you think about it for a long ti me, gas, food, and almost all things have NOT gotten more expensive. It just seems like it because of inflation! And I ain't talkin' about tires, kid. Good and services be sneaky like that. The value of the US dollar has just gone down. That's all it is. Investment experts have long-recommend portfolio diversification and that 10% to 20% (or more in some cases) of an investor’s assets be devoted to tangible assets such as gold, silver and platinum bullion & bullion coins. But some sneaky individuals didn't listen. What do you call that? Prudent Asset Diversification Strategy. (No, it's not a board game.)

Problem is, in today's uncertain, unflexible political and economic world, there are a lot of reasons to consider investing in precioud metals now. And you should listen to them. And who has the experience? Monex does. Who has the expertise? Monex does. Who has the resources? You Gosh-Damned right. Monex does. So who do you need to talk to? That's right, mother fuckers, Monex.

Since 1967, well over 100,000 investors have purchased billions of dollars of gold, silver, platinum and palladium bullion and bullion coins from them. They are one of our country's largest, oldest, and most experienced firms. They specialize in precious metals for the investor who is an individual as well. Let them serve you and hook it up.

Dog...like...dog

Bobert De Niro: Directs the film and plays the role of some CIA dude in a wheelchair. He's barely in the film and doesn't seem to even fit the role. He's role in "Meet The Parents" was way better.Joe Pesci: Joe Pesci appears in this film for exactly 2 seconds and says the word "nigger," for no apparent reason, except to maybe feed off of some of the media buzz Michael Richards got. His character seemed like he could have been the most interesting in the film, yet I have no idea who he even is. Oh yeah, and he's Italian. It's a stretch.Alec Baldwin: ??? Oh yeah...he was in the film. He plays an FBI guy who shows up every once in a while and acts like Alec Baldwin.William Hurt: Pretty good performance, but he plays a criminal in the CIA basically. Hollywood portraying government officials as criminals? No way. That's revolutionary.Angelina Jolie: I guess her performance is pretty good, but it doesn't help the film and she rapes Matt Damon and gets pregnant.Matt Damon: The lead. I guess a pretty good performance as well, but not entertaining and for somebody in the CIA, he sure seems to be lead around by everybody in the world by one of those kid leashes. He also performs in a play, dressed in drag and singing like a girl. He immediately receives an offer to join the infamous "Skull & Bones" fraternity in his dressing room afterwards. It reminded me of Team America. Also, him dressing up like a girl and singing has nothing to do with his character, at all, for the rest of the film. He acts like a librarian the rest of the film.So yeah, it sucked--and I don't use that word lightly. Also, the actor who plays Matt Damon's son is a really creepy pants pee-er and I think is actually older than Matt Damon. Trust me--it will all make sense when you don't see it.

Reggie Bush Sucks At Dancing

Reggie Bush won't be dancing in the end zone anymore (I hope), and I'll be heading to Miami for Super Bowl XLI in about 2 weeks. I can't even describe how I feel right now. I don't know about you (the 3.5 people reading this), but I'm pumped about the "All-Midwestern Super Bowl."It's really what it's all about. Let's be honest. Reggie Bush's dance was horrible anyway. It was way out of character for him, and it pissed me off; being a Bears fan. I pretty much lost respect for him at that moment. I gained it (somewhat) back when I heard that he apologized to Coach Sean Peyton later. OK. Great. But right now, even though I live in Southern California, none of that matters. I'm over it.

Bulls live in million dollar homes

I want a few million dollar homes.

Million dollar luxury homes worldwide have a resource...Dream homes magazine. It will show you all the best homes. What kind though? Well...stone castles in the US AND Europe...to even modern condos in Hawaii. Wealthy people can find the luxury home with all the amenities they need. All they have to do to do this is check out the real estate listings...in dream homes magazine! Isn't that awesome, dog? I know it is. Where are some of the locations? Well...California, Hawaii, Arizona, Italy, Greece, Mexico, other places. Seriously, take a tour of any of these place, any of the dream homes locations...and what will you find? Exceptionally incredible value of living, and incomparable places to sleep, eat, and have intercourse. You'll find out about some of the most livable places in the world in this magazine. Search for Luxury Homes for Sale, that's where. See...I can read minds.

Also, City Pages contain easy-to-use searches for the most professional and active real estate agents and real estate offices. Then check Price Point homes to give you an idea of what type of luxury homes are available, and at what various prices. And in every Price Point you'll find stunning photographic views of the city by Dream Homes’ versatile photographers.

“Points of Interest” highlight interesting/entertaining/cool things about the city...a “Point of Interest” can range from great beaches, famous bridges, architecturally significant buildings, to historical locations.

And every one of these “Point of Interest”s has a cool description and is accompanied by photographs. Lastly, the City Page has a gallery of typical scenes of interest to the visitor, resident, or potential resident.

The site? dreamhomes.US...it's your online guide to the sickest luxury homes in the world. We list luxury homes for sale in many of California’s most prestigious communities.

You'll see condo homes on the waterfront. You'll see multi-million-dollar estates. It don't matter, dog. Their real estate agents can help you find just the right luxury property. Their agents are the best in the business.

Bulls have sucked against LA Teams

I didn't lose my temper or anything, but damn, that game sure sucked. I watched the Bulls lose to the Lakers tonight, live at the Staples Center. I wore my classic Chicago Bulls t-shirt and everything. It was going to be a great time. Instead, leaving the game, with the Lakers beating the Bulls 82-72, felt like a punch in the face.

My seats sucked. The Bulls sucked. People talked shit to me as I was walking to my car (granted). If there was ever a time that Brian Laesch was "too stiff," tonight was the night. Actually, I was only stiff when I first got to my seat, for about 40 minutes, until I finally relaxed and realized that there was not a direct correlation between the shitty positioning of my Lakers basketball tickets and the direction of my life. It took me 40 minutes to get to that point. Then, after the Bulls lost, I was pissed and stiff again. Now I'm cool, but still pissed. This Chicago Bulls team has got a lot of potential, but they look like a glorified college team. They need a freakin' low-post scoring threat. But I digest (get it? because I got two free tacos from Jack in the Box because of the Lakers win. Oh...I guess I never told you that, and even if I did, substituting the word "digress" with "digest" wouldn't be that funny anyway. Oh well, your loss.).

Salad Tofu Snag

I just want to wish everybody and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving. I'm flying back to the midwest, to the great city of Indianapolis to enjoy the best meal I've eaten since last Thanksgiving. I'll probably write the best blog ever after I eat it. Oh wait, no I won't. I'll be hanging out with my family, some of the only people who understand me. It's going to be sweet.
Can't wait to get out of this city of crackpots. (I've always wanted to use the word "crackpots" in writing.) Away from the entertainment industry and to the heart of this great country. Every time I go home I get even more creative and come up with great ideas too. (Because I stop thinking and they just happen.) So after this weekend, you can expect me to come up with my next book idea, have a short film written and about 8 more blogs on the internet.

Back to the midwest. Back to my roots. Maybe I'll just stay this time. Fuck it. I'm sick of this west coast, "I'm harder than you because you are from the 'suburbs'" bullshit. I hope Notre Dame beats USC too. In your face Trojans. Or should I say, on your face Trojans. (I went to Arizona State. I'm a Sun Devil Jerry. Show me the fuckin turkey bitch.)